★the dreamy life of an artist ― Sayaka says good-night to Jaugo for a hopeful rendezvous in a dream again★
Sayaka: So… this is it?
Jaugo: Yes. This is it. The last TANKA for us to discuss is by 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu）, and that a dreaming TANKA… suitable one for us, isn’t it?
Sayaka: Are you referring to “つくづくとただ惚れてのみ覚ゆれば（tsukuzuku to tada hore te nomi oboyure ba）”?
Jaugo: Not quite… I’m curious why you dwell upon that 詞書（kotoba-gaki = annotation）.
Sayaka: I thought you think I’m simply deep in love with you; or vice versa.
Jaugo: Oh… that’s a charming interpretation. For your information, however, this “惚れて（horete）” means “being at a loss”, not “being in love”.
Sayaka: Oh no…!
Jaugo: Yes… thank you very much for your sweet mistake, Sayaka-san. And do you know why 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） is being “totally at a loss”?
Sayaka: Because this is the end of our delightful conversation…
Jaugo: That makes you feel totally at a loss?
Sayaka: Not quite ― you promised me to meet me whenever I ask you to.
Jaugo: Did I?
Sayaka: Don’t you remember the last time?
Jaugo: Don’t you remember how forgetful I am of my dreams?
Sayaka: OK, I will contact you in my dream anytime I want ― and you’ll come to see me whenever I ask you to ― that’s a deal.
Jaugo: Deal… in our dreams.
Sayaka: In our dreamy reality!
Jaugo: Now that you have no reason to be at a loss over your loss, please feel free to feel for the personal situation of 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） and imagine why she feels totally at a loss.
Sayaka: Judging from the contents of this TANKA, along with all the info you gave me about her circumstances, 和泉（Izumi） is deeply hurt by the heartless reputation of her as “a lecherous woman”, I’d guess.
Jaugo: More likely than not.
Sayaka: I’m curious what 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） was really like, as a woman.
Jaugo: OK, shall we trace her personal history, then?
Sayaka: Yes. Without prejudice.
Jaugo: Or prejudice for the better, to her advantage. Totally impartial review of someone’s personal history is a structural impossibility. But if we get partial at all, we should be on her side, not on the other side of Japanese society: they are too many, she is so lonely. Listen to the lonely and ignore the many ― the voice of the latter is there for the mere hearing or overhearing; the former’s voice you can only know by careful listening.
Sayaka: I’ll be carefully listening to her voice through you ― speak for her, Jaugo-san, like you do in my dreams.
Jaugo: OK, let’s start from her childhood. Although the exact date of her birth is not known, it is estimated that she was born around A.D.978. Her father was 大江雅致（Oue-no-Masamune）, one of the middle-class noblemen known as “受領（zuryou = viceroys）” who accumulated wealth by being stationed in their posts far away from 京都（Kyoto） with the responsibility to collect tax for the central government, while being allowed to acquire quite a percentage of the tax as their private property. 和泉（Izumi） was a typical “受領の女（zuryou no musume = a daughter of a viceroy）”.
Sayaka: And the mother?
Jaugo: 平保衡女（Taira-no-Yasuhira-no-musume = daughter of Taira-no-Yasuhira）.
Sayaka: And her real name was?
Jaugo: Unknown. What we know is only that she was a daughter of a man called 平保衡（Taira-no-Yasuhira).
Sayaka: Didn’t a woman in Heian era Japan have any name of her own?
Jaugo: She did; but her real name was known only to those who were quite intimate with her, such as her parents, brothers and sisters, and of course her lovers or husbands.
Sayaka: Husbands… in the plural?
Jaugo: A Heianese woman could have more than one husband, just as her husband could have more than one wife. Polygamy, not monogamy: things were different in those days. You know 小式部内侍（Koshikibu-no-naishi）, the daughter of 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu）, gave birth to three children with three different fathers.
Sayaka: Their married life must have been… quite uneasy.
Jaugo: Without a doubt. Judging from the tone of Heianese TANKA, uneasiness and jealousy were the basic tone of their love affairs, both men and women. The woman was especially uneasy and lonely, always waiting for her man to come and love her, never being able to go and get him. A very tough situation for a “go-getter” like you, Sayaka-san, I’d guess.
Sayaka: I could wait ― so long as he is faithful to me.
Jaugo: Of course you could… but it seems 和泉（Izumi） couldn’t.
Sayaka: Perhaps because her first husband was not faithful to her.
Jaugo: If the first husband of 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） had been faithful to her, she wouldn’t have been known as “a lecherous woman”, you think?
Jaugo: In that case, it would also be impossible for us to enjoy this conversation over her poems, because most of her poems were born out of her adventurous life as a social butterfly. Wouldn’t that be… unfortunate for us?
Sayaka: But fortunate for her.
Jaugo: I don’t know about that. Living as an obscure woman as a faithful wife and good mother is not bad, not bad at all, but for a woman as talented as 和泉（Izumi）, I’d guess it would have been a bore, indeed an impossibility. Authentic talent, or genius, will cry out for expression within an artist so loudly that she or he can never turn deaf ears to it. As for 和泉（Izumi）, she got married to her first husband 橘道貞（Tachibana-no-Michisada：??-1016） when she was about eighteen, in a couple of years, she gave birth to her only daughter 小式部内侍（Kosikibu-no-naishi） ― so far so good, but the turning point of her life comes in A.D.999.
Sayaka: What happened?
Jaugo: In the Autumn of 999, 橘道貞（Tachibana-no-Michisada） was appointed 受領（zuryou = a viceroy） to the district of 和泉（Izumi）. In such cases, the wife was supposed to accompany the husband to his new post… which she didn’t ― another woman did, leaving 和泉（Izumi） behind in 京都（Kyoto） as a virtual widow… it was since then that the legend of 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） began.
Sayaka: You mean… she began having affairs with men other than the first husband?
Jaugo: Rumor has it that she fell in love with the famous 為尊親王（Tametaka-sin-ou：977-1002）, the third prince of 冷泉天皇（Reizei-ten-ou = Emperor Reizei）, in the Winter of 999, immediately after her husband left for the district of 和泉（Izumi） along with another woman.
Sayaka: It is not unnatural because her husband left her alone. She must have been so lonely that she needed someone to love.
Jaugo: Or something to love ― poetry. It was around A.D.1001, two years after she was deserted by her husband, that the name of 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） as an extraordinary poet began circulating among nobles in Kyoto.
Sayaka: 《くらきよりくらきみちにぞいりぬべき はるかにてらせやまのはのつき：kuraki yori kuraki michi ni zo iri nubeki harukani terase yama no ha no tsuki》…
Jaugo: I’m glad you remember it. That’s the very first TANKA she was known to the public by.
Sayaka: That’s the very TANKA that speaks for me ― “遙かに照らせ山の端の月（haruka ni terase yama no ha no tsuki）” ― keep illuminating me, Jaugo-san, even after this TANKA talk is over.
Jaugo: From afar, or in your dreams?
Sayaka: Wherever, however, and whenever.
Jaugo: Whatever. Shall we get back to 和泉（Izumi）’s story?
Jaugo: Although there seemed to be several, or possibly many, men that walked up to her drawn by her literary fame, and probably by her feminine charm, the one that 和泉（Izumi） thought most seriously about was 為尊親王（Tametaka-sin-ou）.
Sayaka: What was he like?
Jaugo: Give me a time-machine and I could tell you what he really looked like when I came back; otherwise, rest contented with mere rumors and facts.
Sayaka: OK, facts and rumors, please.
Jaugo: He was about the same age as 和泉（Izumi）, possibly a year or two older, she was frequented by this prince, until he died of plague in 1002. Their love affair lasted only a couple of years, leaving behind the rumor that the frivolous prince died because he didn’t know better than to frequent a lowly woman in the city of Kyoto where and when the deadly plague was rampant. As for 和泉（Izumi）, her father 大江雅致（Oue-no-Masamune） disowned the daughter because of her inappropriate relationship or a possible misalliance with the noble prince.
Sayaka: No! Poor 和泉（Izumi）… Why, if his daughter was loved by the prince and gave birth to a child, the child might possibly become the Emperor of Japan. It’s a great chance for the family, not a shame!
Jaugo: It might possibly be the very reason why the father disowned the daughter. Marriage is a social contract for “living”, not a simple matter of “loving” ― Heianese nobles were making a political tug-of-war of their daughters: 和泉（Izumi）’s family was politically so powerless that they might have been afraid to get involved in a hopeless battle against powerful families such as 藤原（the Fujiwaras） or 源（the Minamotos）because of 和泉（Izumi）’s personal love affair.
Jaugo: To love is one thing, to live and fight and survive and thrive is quite another, now you know.
Sayaka: You say, a daughter was just a tool of political war between families?
Jaugo: A very powerful weapon in the family arsenal. That’s why noble women in Heian period were carefully kept out of reach from any ordinary men, not even their names were publicly known. Except for one case.
Sayaka: What is it?
Jaugo: The women who were given their place in the Imperial Court as 女房（Nyoubou = ladies-in-waiting） like 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） and 小式部内侍（Koshikibu-no-naish） or 清少納言（Sei-shounagon） or 紫式部（Murasaki-shikibu）. They were the only exceptional women whom men in the Court could daily see, casually talk with, occasionally exchange letters or fans with.
Sayaka: Fan letters?
Jaugo: No, fans, literally, the hand-held device to wave and send wind for cooling oneself. Heianese nobles exchanged fans with 女房（nyoubou = ladies-in-waiting） as a sign of their intimate relationship.
Sayaka: I see… Does the term “fan” derive from it?
Jaugo: No, that “fan” is an abbreviation of “fanatic”, meaning “crazy for something”.
Sayaka: I see… But in a sense, exchanging “fans” is like saying “I’m a fan of yours”, don’t you think?
Jaugo: Correct, though it’s a mere coincidence.
Sayaka: I love happy coincidences. Our relationship is just one of them.
Jaugo: I’m with you there. Well, that reminds me. One day in the Imperial Court, a man who had exchanged fans with 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） was making his boast of the very fan he got from her. 藤原道長（Fujiwara-no-Michinaga：966-1028） took it up and wrote “浮かれ女（ukareme = a party girl）” on the fan.
Sayaka: What a nasty joke! I hate 道長（Michinaga）.
Jaugo: 和泉（Izumi） heard of the story, made a rhyme, and sent it back to 道長（Michinaga）, which ran as follows: 《こえもせむこさずもあらむあふさかの せきもりならぬひとなとがめそ：koe mo semu kosazu mo aramu ousaka no seki-mori naranu hito na togame so》越えもせむ(step across I may)越さずもあらむ(stop short I may)逢坂の(a love affair unmasked is open to only him who has gone over the edge)関守ならぬ人(you ain’t no border guard)な咎めそ(halt me not, please)… What do you say, Sayaka-san?
Sayaka: Good for you, 和泉（Izumi）! Serves you right, 道長（Michinaga）.
Jaugo: Yes, 和泉（Izumi） really served 道長（Michinaga） right. But please don’t accuse 道長（Michinaga） so much. He was not just one of those men who sported and flirted with 和泉（Izumi）.
Sayaka: Is there any reason for you to take his side?
Jaugo: Yes. 道長（Michinaga） was the very man who picked out 和泉（Izumi）, along with her daughter 小式部内侍（Koshikibu-no-naishi）, to serve his daughter Empress 彰子（Shoushi） of 一条天皇（Ichijou ten-ou = Emperor Ichijou）. 道長（Michinaga） was well aware of the amorous rumors of 和泉（Izumi） much as he expected her to beat such rumors by her wit, unparalleled talent at making excellent rhymes out of bitter experiences in life. That’s why he drew her near to serve his daughter in the Court, and maybe that’s the reason for that nasty “浮かれ女（ukareme = a party girl）” scribble he wrote on a fan of her fan… Now, what do you say, Sayaka-san?
Sayaka: I like 道長（Michinaga）. Good job!
Jaugo: Good to hear that. But it was still some years before 和泉（Izumi） was picked out to serve in the Imperial Court. Let’s get back to the time when she was left behind by the late prince 為尊（Tametaka）.
Sayaka: OK. Who comes next?
Jaugo: 敦道親王（Atsumichi-shin-ou：981-1007）, the little brother of the late 為尊（Tametaka-shin-ou）.
Sayaka: Two brothers in a row?
Jaugo: Yes. Their relationship began some time after the death of the elder brother. 敦道親王（Atsumichi-shin-ou） was so deep in love with 和泉（Izumi） that he insisted on her living with him in his royal mansion, not contented with visiting her in her room only occasionally.
Sayaka: Wow… lucky 和泉（Izumi）… he loved her so much.
Jaugo: Or, he hated his wife so much.
Sayaka: Did he have a wife other than 和泉（Izumi）?
Jaugo: Remember, Sayaka-san, polygamy, it was 1,000 years ago.
Sayaka: Yes… So, 和泉（Izumi） became the second wife of the prince?
Jaugo: Not quite “a wife” ― a “召人（meshi-udo）”, to be exact.
Sayaka: What do you mean by a “召人（meshi-udo）”?
Jaugo: A woman who lives in the house of a noble man to serve him in bed.
Jaugo: 1,000 years ago in Heian era Japan… So, 和泉（Izumi） became Prince 敦道（Atsumichi）’s “召人（meshi-udo = mistress）” living in his residence in the Winter of 1003, giving birth to a boy around 1006, forcing the formal wife of the prince to leave the residence in anger, attending many ceremonies with the prince in the face of increasingly unfavorable rumors… until the prince died and left her alone again in 1007.
Sayaka: Poor 和泉（Izumi）, two brothers in a row… how sad she must have been…
Jaugo: So much so that she was indulged in making rhymes and a memoir of the days she spent with the late prince ― the former is known as “師宮挽歌（Sochi-no-miya banka = elegies for Prince Atsumichi）”, the latter story as 『和泉式部日記（Izumi-shikibu nikki = Izumi-shikibu diaries）』. Our last TANKA today is one of such elegies for the late prince.
Sayaka: I see… 和泉（Izumi） has got every reason to be totally at a loss.
Jaugo: Yes. But just being totally at a loss over the loss of her master was not what 和泉（Izumi） could afford to do. Imagine yourself being left by your husband with a preteen daughter and a baby boy ― what would you do, Sayaka-san?
Sayaka: I… I wouldn’t know what to do. What did she do?
Jaugo: I already told you ― she made rhymes and a story, to promote herself by.
Sayaka: You mean, she made poems and a story, not in memory of the late prince but in order to make a name for herself?
Jaugo: To a greater or lesser extent, yes. It was quite natural in those days for a woman with literary talents to try to make rhymes or fictions or essays or even diaries with a conscious view to having them read by nobles in Kyoto and having themselves picked out as 女房（ladies-in-waiting） at the Imperial Court. 紫式部（Murasaki-shikibu） did that with 『源氏物語（Genji-monogatari：1008）』. 清少納言（Sei-shounagon） wrote 『枕草子（Makura-no-soushi：ca.996-1002）』 and made a name for herself, though she wrote it after she began serving in the Imperial Court, mostly in memory of the late Empress 定子（Teishi:977-1001）. It is to be noted that most writings in those days, however personal, were made for show.
Sayaka: It reminds me of people who try to draw public attention on Twitter or Instagram by uploading outrageous words or photos.
Jaugo: Yes, Heianese women did the same thing, only in a far more sophisticated way. It all began from that famous 『蜻蛉日記（Kagerou-nikki）』 by 藤原道綱母（Fujiwara-no-Michitsuna-no-haha = the mother of Fujiwara-no-Michitsuna：ca.936-995） which enjoyed phenomenal popularity among noblemen in Kyoto, not least because it was a scandalous inside story of the author’s unhappy marriage with 藤原兼家（Fujiwara-no-Kaneie：929-990）, the man with the greatest political power and wayward propensity for strong-arm methods even in his relationship with the royal family. Gossip stories centering around celebrities were the greatest favorite of nobles in Kyoto. 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） naturally attempted to make a name for herself by her superb talents at rhyming and a somewhat fictional diary-style 歌物語（uta-monogatari = a story with some TANKA as the focus of attention ― “lyricalogue” as Jaugo Noto calls it） centering around her days with the late prince ― a perfect topic to draw public attention of the nobles.
Sayaka: And she succeeded in drawing the attention of 藤原道長（Fujiwara-no-Michinaga）?
Jaugo: Yes. In 1009, two years after the death of 敦道親王（Atsumichi-sin-ou）, 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） was allowed to serve 道長（Michinaga）’s daughter Empress 彰子（Shoushi） in the Imperial Court, along with her daughter 小式部内侍（Koshikibu-no-naishi）.
Sayaka: How old was 小式部（Koshikibu） then?
Jaugo: Barely ten years old.
Sayaka: And she was to grow up in the middle of noble men in the Court?
Jaugo: And that as the daughter of the famous 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu）. That’s quite a life for a Heianese girl. No wonder she grew up to be the mother of three children with three different fathers.
Sayaka: How old was 和泉（Izumi） when she was picked out by 道長（Michinaga）?
Jaugo: In her late twenties, possibly in early thirties.
Sayaka: Was she still attractive to men as a woman?
Jaugo: Give me a time-machine, and I’ll personally check it out.
Sayaka: No way! Just tell me if she was still “popular” among men.
Jaugo: Her popularity as a genius in TANKA must have outweighed her feminine attraction by then, I suppose.
Sayaka: So… she was settled in her life at last.
Jaugo: More or less. Around 1013, after several years of serving in the Court, 和泉（Izumi） got married for the second time to 藤原保昌（Fujiwara-no-Yasumasa：958-1036） and accompanied him to his post in the district of 丹後（Tango）. 保昌（Yasumasa） was a man well-known for his military prowess. This marriage was arranged by 道長（Michinaga） in token of his gratitude for 和泉（Izumi）’s service as the most sophisticated “浮かれ女（ukareme = a party girl）”.
Sayaka: So, 道長（Michinaga） really cared for 和泉（Izumi）?
Jaugo: I think so. Although I don’t know what attracted him most ― her charm as a woman, as a poet, or as a social butterfly drawing people’s attention to his daughter’s side. Anyway, 和泉（Izumi）’s reputation gradually changed in its nature from “a scandalous woman” to “an unparalleled poetic genius” after she served under 道長（Michinaga）’s daughter Empress 彰子（Shoushi）.
Sayaka: A happy development in her later life.
Jaugo: Yes, you could say so… until the death of her daughter 小式部内侍（Koshikibu-no-naishi） in 1025.
Sayaka: Oh… I remember… I’m sorry.
Jaugo: Yeah, me too. And A.D.1027 is the last year in which 和泉（Izumi）’s TANKA was officially recorded. How she spent the rest of her life is anybody’s guess… happy ever after along with 藤原保昌（Fujiwara-no-Yasumasa）, or with some other man, or all alone… we don’t know.
Sayaka: What’s become of her only son she gave birth to with the late prince?
Jaugo: He became a Buddhist monk who called himself 永覚（Eikaku）.
Sayaka: Did he and his mother keep in touch with each other?
Jaugo: We don’t know. Hope for the best for them.
Sayaka: Yes… quite a story. Too dramatic to bear for me.
Jaugo: For anyone but an artist who has determined to live her life as a drama ― or as a dream.
Sayaka: 和泉式部（Izumi-shikibu） was such a consciously determined artist… or a dreamer.
Jaugo: Definitely. But even so consciously determined an artistic dreamer as 和泉（Izumi） will sometimes wake up from her dream and wonder “What am I doing, dreaming my life way? What have I become? What am I supposed to be? Am I really a human being? Do I really belong to this world? Where should I really belong? Art? Dream? Some other world? Nowhere?”… This TANKA seems to speak for every authentic artist, every conscious dreamer who makes fabulous art out of his or her own life lived as a dream.
Sayaka: Are you one of them, Jaugo-san?
Jaugo: Yes. And you, too, Sayaka-san.
Sayaka: Me too? No way! I’m far from an artist.
Jaugo: But you are a dreamer.
Sayaka: But I’m not determined to make an art out of my life or of my dreams.
Jaugo: Believe it or not, you are making a piece of art out of your dream ― your dream is a piece of imaginative art in itself. This series of conversation over Heianese TANKA is a piece of art of a kind… and who knows, it may turn out to have been a dream… in a dream… in a dream in a dream… all dreamers are potential artists.
Sayaka: But, I’d rather be a happy married woman and a good mother than be a dreaming artist. I couldn’t possibly stand the fate of 和泉（Izumi） or 小式部（Koshikibu）.
Jaugo: Don’t worry, Sayaka-san. No artist worthy of the name ever “becomes” the artist ― real artists are “born” to be artists. Talents or genius is a built-in destiny that cries out for expression within the artist. Since it’s inherent in the artist’s nature, it is quite natural for him or her to resign themselves to the realization of what’s predetermined within them. All they have to do is just listen to their inner voice, turning deaf ears to the noise from the world outside… although that is the most difficult part for any artists, since they are “human” before they are “artists”… unfortunately, they can’t be both ― if their talent or genius is authentic ― they have to choose between a happy human life or a genuinely artistic life… or a dream.
Jaugo: … Well, how did you enjoy it, Sayaka-san, the quick review of the life of an artistic dreamer, or the whole series of this delightful poetic conversation?
Sayaka: I couldn’t have enough of it.
Jaugo: But this is the end of it.
Sayaka: Is there any way we can continue with it?
Jaugo: You dream of it.
Sayaka: What if I can’t dream?
Jaugo: In that case, visit my WEB sites on the Net ―
for 古文（kobun = archaic Japanese）:
…I’ll be behind all those lessons.
Sayaka: Do you know I’ve already enrolled?
Jaugo: Oh, have you? I won’t know you are there unless you give me questions interesting enough to be posted on their query corners for public viewing.
Sayaka: So… we are supposed to talk to each other in public?
Jaugo: In those WEB lectures, yes.
Jaugo: Ask me in your dream… you know how to meet me there?
Sayaka: Yes… Thank you, Jaugo-san, for the wonderful time… in advance.
Jaugo: Thank YOU, Sayaka-san, it’s been a quite delightful and insightful adventure for me… the rest of it, we’ll personally enjoy in our dreams… good night.
Sayaka: Good night… and see you again…
Jaugo: We are sure to see each other again ― wherever, however, whenever… for ever… Pleasant dreams.
・・・This fabulous TANKA ― lonely anthem for all authentic artists ― is too truly artistic to find its place in any of the so-called Imperial TANKA anthologies of Japan.
『この世の中は儚いもの、夢みたいに呆気なく過ぎ去るもの、と人は言う・・・言うけれど、実際そうしてこの世の中を夢みたいに過ごして一生を終える人なんて、そうそういるとは思えない・・・それなのに、素晴らしい夢が叶ったかと思えばたちまち儚く崩れ去る、現実離れした夢みたいな出来事の連続を、「私の人生って、そういうもの」と、驚きもせずに受け入れて、人並みの現実に戻ろうともせずに夢また夢の数奇な運命に粛々と身を任せてきたこの私という人間は・・・実際、人、なのかしら？ それともそれ以外の何かなのかしら？ 夢に生き、夢のように儚く消える人なんて、この世ならざる何か、なのかもしれない・・・』
(when being totally at a loss)
Some say life is as fleeting as a dream.
I know… my life is too dreamy to be real.
I don’t know whether I’m awake or in a dream.
I don’t care whichever… it’s dreamy after all.
Is this my reality or something else than that?
Is this my self a reality or something else… then, what?
はかなし【儚し】〔形ク〕（はかなし＝終止形）＜ADJECTIVE:fleeting, evanescent, dreamy＞
…[not seldom have I heard it said that life is] fleeting, never to last long, soon to slip away, [a dream after a dream in a series of seemingly real yet essentially immaterial events]
みる【見る】〔他マ上一〕（み＝連用形）＜VERB:see, view, regard, consider＞
つ【つ】〔助動タ下二型〕完了（つる＝連体形）＜AUXILIARY VERB(PERFECT TENSE)＞
ゆめ【夢】〔名〕＜NOUN:a dream, an illusion＞
の【の】〔格助〕＜POSTPOSITIONAL PARTICLE(POSSESSIVE):’s, of, belonging to＞
よ【世】〔名〕＜NOUN:the world, life, reality＞
…that’s exactly how I’ve found this dreamy life of mine to be
おどろく【驚く】〔自カ四〕（おどろか＝未然形）＜VERB:be surprised, astonished, awoken, disillusioned＞
で【で】〔接助〕＜POSTPOSITIONAL PARTICLE(SITUATION):without -ing＞
ぬ【寝】〔自ナ下二〕（ぬる＝連体形）＜VERB:sleep, dream on＞
…all the same, I’m not surprised, I’ll not wake up, and I keep sleeping in this dreamy life of mine [or rather, in a series of dreams that I mistake for my reality]
ひと【人】〔名〕＜NOUN:a human being＞
かは【かは】〔終助〕＜POSTPOSITIONAL PARTICLE(QUESTION):am I?＞
…I wonder if I am really a human being? [or something other than human belonging to some alternate reality?]
《hakanashi to masashiku mitsuru yume no yo wo odoroka de nuru ware wa hito kawa》
=== THE END …of the beginning… ===
We provide you not with actual conversation partners, but we enable you to engage in intellectually enticing conversation with Sayaka-san/Jaugo-san(…no mean feat, isn’t it?)
WEB lessons by ZUBARAIE LLC. are currently for JAPANESE students only, conducted in Japanese language (…sorry for English speakers)